I just decided over the weekend that fortune cookies need to be more in depth. I got one on Sunday after feasting on a shrimp-filled Chinese buffet that read: "You will never want for a steady income." OK..... so what exactly does that
mean? Does it mean that I'll make a gob-zillion dollars after inventing some phenomenal, life changing product (if you have any ideas as to this mystery product, please send them my way.... unless the idea involves anything even remotely resembling Crocs or a Snuggie, BARF!) with a trust fund that will pay me $100K a month without having to lift a finger? OR... does this mean that I'll have a steady income cleaning port-a-potties after Lynrd Skynrd concerts? I hope those people get paid a lot.
But, back to my point-- I really think that fortune cookies need to get a bit more futuristic, and have some sort of Harry Potter-esque hologram that pops up and explains to you what your fortune actually means. Ok, so maybe Dumbledore is inappropriate, but I could really go for an elderly wise bald man with a flowing golden robe who tells me that my "steady income" will be gained by taking over for Mike on "Dirty Jobs" and having to muck about in various farmyard goo while performing dental work on a sheep with halitosis, or being part of a multi-million dollar lawsuit where I pull an Erin Brokovich and reap the rewards.
Tell me, wise man! I need to know so I can plan what to wear next week.
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